Dewey Date
by Westing1992
Summary: Pearl goes on a date with Mayor Dewey. (Not actually shipping)
1. Chapter 1

_[Author's Note:_ _I neither own nor work on Steven Universe, so if I get any details wrong about the show's internal rules or backstory, either those already revealed or those revealed after this story is published, I apologize.]_

* * *

Steven was on the beach, making drip castles. He scooped a handful of seawater and sand and then let the slurry drip from his fist, creating tiny structures that resembled the spires of a building, in a process similar to how stalagmites are formed. He was so invested in this that he didn't notice Jamie the mailman approaching him from behind.

"Hey, Steven!" Jamie called. His greeting startled Steven and made him let go of his current fistful, squashing his towers and ruining his progress.

"Aw," Steven said, surveying the now-flattened mound of sand. He turned around. "Oh! Hi, Jamie!" he cried brightly, as if that tragedy, slight as it was, had never occurred. "You got a letter for me?"

"Not exactly," Jamie replied, pulling it out of his bag. "It's the same address as you, but it's actually for one of the ladies that live with you."

"Really?" said Steven. "But they never get letters. The last time was when you gave that love letter to Garnet."

"Right," said Jamie, giving an embarrassed chuckle at the memory. "But I assure you, this one isn't from me. And it's not for Garnet, either. And I'm fairly sure it's not a love letter."

"Well, give it here," said Steven. "I can take it to the beach house for you."

Jamie hesitated. "Well…"

"What? Oh," Steven said, glancing at his wet and sand-coated hands. He quickly wiped them on his shirt. "There, that should be good enough to not mess up the letter. I mean, it's in an envelope, so that will protect it."

"I guess," said Jamie, handing the letter over. "But be careful; I think it's important."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, it's from the mayor."

"Really?" Steven glanced at the return address and saw that, indeed, it was that of the mayor's office; it was also printed directly onto the envelope rather than written in, giving it a look of being official and custom-ordered. "Oh, wow!" he exclaimed. "I've got to get this to the Gems right away!" He ran off, trampling over what was left over of his drip castle without a care.

Steven slammed the door to the beach house open. "Hey, guys!" He glanced about the room. Wires and bits of green metal were strewn about. Pearl and Garnet were picking them up while Amethyst lounged off to the side. "What is all this?"

"Oh! Steven!" said Pearl. "Sorry about the mess. We'll have your room cleaned up shortly."

"Well, _you'll_ have the room cleaned up shortly," said Amethyst. " _I'm_ mostly just watching."

"What were you guys doing?" Steven asked.

"We spent the whole morning reverse engineering some of the Homeworld technology from Peridot's escape shuttle," Pearl explained.

"Well, _you_ did the reverse engineering," said Amethyst. " _I_ mostly just watched."

"Yes, we get it, Amethyst," Pearl grumbled. "Anyway, we were trying to see if any of it could help us track her down. It doesn't seem like they can, but we did manage to cobble together _these._ " She held up a pair of objects that resembled green remote controls. "We'll be able to communicate with each other when separated without any of the problems similar Earth technologies have."

"Neat!" said Steven. He then remembered what his purpose for coming inside was in the first place. "Oh! We got a letter from the mayor!"

"Really?" asked Amethyst. "What's it about?"

"I don't know, it wasn't addressed to me." He glanced down at the envelope. "It's actually addressed to Pearl."

"What? Why me? Why not all of us?"

"Maybe he thinks you're the leader?" Steven suggested with a shrug.

"Me?"

"It's possible," said Garnet. "While in practice I'm the one who provides us with our mission objectives and develops the chief amount of strategies in combat, my stoic nature is associated in the human consciousness with the second-in-command, competent but uncreative; Amethyst, meanwhile, is obviously immature. You, however, project an air of intelligence and confidence, traits more often found in popular depictions of leadership roles."

"Really?" smiled Pearl, blushing slightly at the suggestion that she had leader-like qualities.

"Or maybe you have the only name he can remember," said Amethyst.

"Well, let's see what it has to say," said Pearl. She took the letter from Steven, opened it, and read aloud:

"From the desk of Mayor Bill Dewey. To: Pearl [Unknown Surname]. This letter is to extend an invitation to you for a two-person dinner and conversation with the sender, Mayor Bill Dewey, for next Saturday the ninth at 6:15, or else a date and time amiable to you, dependent on our individual schedules. Please RSVP. Signed, Mayor Bill Dewey."

"Wow, Pearl," said Steven. "I think the mayor's asking you out…on a date!"

"Well, that ain't happening," said Amethyst.

"Nope," said Pearl.

"I think you should go," said Garnet.

The others all stared at her in disbelief. Steven was particularly shocked, considering how she had reacted when someone had offered to date her. Then again, she was a fusion while Pearl was not, so that may have accounted for her differing attitude in this situation; yet the reasons she had given to Jamie, about them not being in love because they didn't know each other, applied to Dewey and Pearl as well. Although Steven trusted her judgment, it often proved inscrutable.

The other Gems, though they had not been present for the Jamie incident, were evidently thinking the same thing.

"You cannot be serious," Pearl said after a second.

"Yes I can. I think you should go."

"On a date with Mayor Dewey?" Pearl made a sort of gagging sound. "Sorry, but I have absolutely no interest in pursuing a relationship with him or any other human."

"Then don't approach it as if it's meant to be a starting point for a possible relationship. Approach it as if it's a meeting between a guardian of the Earth from magical threats and the elected official of the city that is threatened the most. After all, the invitation is written in such a way that it is not necessarily intended to be romantic in nature."

"But you know it is."

"Indisputably."

"Even disregarding the possibility of romance, I wouldn't want to go anyway! I mean, dinner? I hate eating! And with him? I know nothing about him!"

"That's one of the reasons I think you should go," said Garnet. "Get to know him a little better, and have him get to know you a little better as well."

"Yeah, maybe he won't want to date you anymore once he gets to know you!" joked Amethyst.

"Exactly," said Garnet.

"Wait, that's really you're reasoning?" said Amethyst. "I was just making fun of Pearl."

"I assume the mayor believes that Pearl would be a suitable companion for him but is not entirely sure. His letter mentions conversation, after all. That means that although he doesn't know you, he is at least making an effort to do so. I can respect that."

"That's all fine," said Pearl crossly, "but why can't I just write back and say that, no, I most certainly would not be a suitable companion for him?"

"In most cases, I'd think that'd be acceptable. However, there are other reasons I think you should go. It'd be worthless to reveal them until after you've been on the date, however."

"What does that mean?" demanded Pearl. "Wait, did you spy on my possibility of a date with your future vision?

"No. It was pure intuition."

"So, you want me to do this thing that I don't want to do for reasons you can't tell me until after I've done it?"

"Pretty much."

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Great."

"I think you should go for it, Pearl!" exclaimed Amethyst.

"You just want to annoy me by proxy!" Pearl snapped.

"Eh, you know me too well."

"I must admit that Pearl's annoyance is a distinct likelihood," said Garnet, "but despite that, my opinion remains unchanged. There are worse things than being forced to spend time with somebody."

"Maybe so, but it would help if I knew _why_ I was being forced to spend time with them."

Garnet shrugged. "The gist of it is that I think it'd be good for you to get out and meet some new people."

"What? Why?"

"Because it'd be good for you."

"I think I see what she's saying," said Steven. "I mean, Amethyst's reconnected with her old friend Vidalia and that's been working out pretty well for her."

"I can talk to her about things I can't with any of you guys," said Amethyst.

"Well, what about you?" said Pearl to Garnet. "I don't see you going out and trying to meet new people."

"I don't need to."

Pearl was about to make a retort to this statement, but then she felt a hand gently land on her arm. Looking down, she saw that it belonged to Steven, who was gazing up at her with big, pleading eyes.

"Pearl," he said, "I've spent time with the mayor before. He's not perfect, but he's a nice enough guy. You don't have to date him, but you should at least let him down gently. Take him up on this offer, explain to him why you don't want a relationship with him, and you don't have to do it again. Besides, maybe Garnet's right; maybe this _would_ be good for you. And even if it's not, what harm could it possibly be to try?"

Pearl let out a long sigh. "Fine, I'll go," she said. "But I'm not going to enjoy it."

"Yeah, probably not," said Garnet.


	2. Chapter 2

The agreed-upon date had come. 6:15 arrived and there was a knock at the door. Steven opened it and there stood the mayor; behind him, on the beach, sat his head-bedecked campaign van, which he had managed to maneuver on the sand.

"Hello, Steven," Dewey said. "Is your sister ready?"

"Pearl!" Steven yelled. "Your date's here!"

"Yes, Steven, I can see," said Pearl from the couch, only a few yards away. She got up and walked to the door. "Hello, mayor."

"Hello!" the mayor replied. "For you," he said, presenting a bouquet of roses.

"Oh," said Pearl, taking them. "Well, I commend you on your choice of flower, but, uh…"

She glanced around and saw that Amethyst had come up to stand beside her and was looking up expectantly.

"Here," Pearl said, tossing the bouquet down to her. Amethyst caught it and immediately stuffed the entire thing in her mouth, wrapper and all.

"Well, uh…" Dewey stammered, nervously tugging at his collar. "That's a nice outfit you're wearing."

"Thank you," said Pearl. "It's the default of my latest regeneration."

"I don't know what that means," said Dewey. "So, are you ready to go?"

"Ready as I'm ever going to be," said Pearl. "So yes, let's embark on this professional journey to have a professional dinner and professional conversation together. Professionally."

"Right, professional," said Dewey. "Well, uh, let me escort you."

"That won't be necessary," said Pearl, and she descended the steps and got into the passenger side of Dewey's van without assistance. Dewey glumly got behind the wheel, leaving Steven and Amethyst to watch the giant-head festooned vehicle, which, after a bit of spinning and sliding on the sand, departed.

"I hope they have a good time," said Steven.

Amethyst gave a mischievous chuckle. "You want to go and spy on them?"

"Spy? Wouldn't that be kind of rude?"

"But it'd be fun!"

"I don't know…"

"Aren't you curious about what they could be talking about? Maybe they'll discuss you!"

"Me?" Steven thought for a moment. "Okay, sure, let's go!"

"Great!" said Amethyst.

The two hopped down to the beach. Steven looked around.

"Lion doesn't seem to be here right now. So how are we going to keep up with them?"

" _This_ way!" exclaimed Amethyst, and she transformed into a purple ostrich.

"Cool!" said Amethyst.

"Yep! The world's fastest land animal!"

"Isn't that the cheetah?"

"Yeah, probably. Hop on!"

Steven did so and Amethyst ran off after Dewey's car, keeping just far enough away so not to be spotted. Though they weren't going their top speed, Steven still had to cling to Amethyst's neck to keep from flying off.

They eventually followed the car to the parking lot of a restaurant next to the beach. Still maintaining a safe distance, Steven got down off of Amethyst and let her return to her normal form. They watched Pearl and Dewey get out of the vehicle and enter the dining area of the restaurant, which was on a patio outside, a fortunate condition for those who wanted to eavesdrop on patrons thereof without actually going in. This was further helped by the rows of bushes placed around the patio. Steven and Amethyst took a hiding place among them and watched Pearl and Dewey take a table near the far wall.

It soon became apparent, however, that their vantage point was less than ideal; while Dewey and Pearl were clearly making comments to one another, they could not make out what they were.

"I can't hear what they're saying," Steven complained.

"Wait here," said Amethyst. She shapeshifted into the shape of a bald man with a mustache—a larger version of Li'l Butler. She hopped up onto the patio and made her way to the not-quite-couple's table.

"Hello, may I take your order?" she said in a disguised voice, loudly enough for Steven to hear her.

"Amethyst!" said Pearl sternly.

"Aw, how did you know it was me?"

"You're _purple._ "

"Yeah, that was probably a give-away."

"Go back home, Amethyst."

"Fine, fine." She shifted back to her regular form, much to the mayor's surprise, and hop back off the patio to the bushes where Steven lay.

"Maybe we _should_ just head home," said Steven. "It doesn't really make sense to spy on them if we can't hear them."

Amethyst laughed. "You give up too easy, little man. Besides, I came prepared." She held up a green object.

"Woah, is that the communication device from Peridot's escape pod?"

"You know it is! And when I went over there as a waiter, I stuck the other one under the table! And these things have a whole bunch of settings too. I set these things to one-way so we can hear Pearl but she can't hear us!"

Amethyst turned the device on and Pearl's voice came through. "I don't even know what she was trying to do," she was saying.

"Well," said a voice belonging to the mayor, "it may have just been an attempt to ruin our evening."

"That's what I don't get," said Pearl. "She should know that her presence couldn't possibly make me enjoy this evening less than I anticipate."

"You don't think you'll enjoy tonight?"

"The planned schedule is not something I would call a good time, no."

"Er… Hey, look! It's our actual waitress!"

Indeed, a waitress had arrived at their table. "Here are your menus," she said, handing them over.

"I won't need one," said Pearl, handing it right back.

"You're not hungry?" Dewey inquired.

"Most certainly not."

"Okay," said the waitress. "While you're deciding, can I get you something to drink?"

"I think two glasses of water will be fine," said Dewey.

"No, just the one. I don't drink."

"Really?" asked Dewey. "What if you get thirsty?"

"Look, I know that humans need water to survive, but I am a Gem. My body is an illusion and does not require sustenance. Though I am technically able to imbibe, I find the entire process disgusting. I am not hungry, and I am not, and will never be, thirsty."

"One glass of water, got it" said the waitress. "I'll be right back."

"Well now," said Pearl as the waitress departed, "how about you tell me a little about yourself? That's the only reason I agreed to this."

"You want us to get to know each other better?" said the mayor optimistically.

"My teammate thought it would be a good idea."

"Oh," said Dewey, his hopes falling a bit. "Well, uh, something about myself… Well, I'm the mayor of Beach City."

"Yes, I am already familiar with our position."

"Right, right," said the mayor. "Well, uh, what exactly do you want to know?"

"To be frank, I have no preferences about what I want to know or not know about you, and I have no idea on what sorts of things I _should_ want to know."

"Well, uh…" Dewey paused. "Well, uh, what's your favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Mine's red." He paused again. "I'm not very good with small talk. Interacting with voters in campaign photo ops? Sure. But something like this? I haven't really had much practice in quite some time."

"Well, I've _never_ had any practice with it," said Pearl. "It's never come up before."

"Ah."

There was an awkward silence between them. From the bushes, Amethyst snickered. Steven, on the other hand, had a look of sympathy on his face.

The waitress returned with the mayor's water. "Have you decided what you're going to eat yet?" she asked.

"Um…" Dewey quickly glanced through the menu. "The turkey sandwich will be fine."

"With fries on the side?"

"Yeah, sure."

She left again. The awkward silence returned.

The mayor finally broke it. "So, uh… you mentioned your outfit was the default of something?"

"Yes, of this regeneration," said Pearl. "As I said, our bodies are an illusion, and so if they're badly damaged, like if they, say, have a sword thrust through their chest, we can retreat into our Gem to heal and alter our default form in slight ways; clothing, hairstyle, minor superficial attributes like that. That's just the default, though; as you saw with my friend, we can also change into other shapes, within a given amount of parameters."

"Uh, right," said Dewey, not sounding as if he understood a word.

"Now, this only applies to injury to the body itself; if the gemstone itself is broken, it is possible for a Gem to die. Otherwise, they are functionally immortal and can exist for thousands of years, in contrast to humans, who have an expected lifespan of less than a hundred years, and that's if it's not cut short by accident or disease. Incidentally, how old are you?"

"Er…" The mayor was thankfully saved by the arrival of his food.

"Enjoy," said the waitress.

"Huh, prompt service," said the mayor. "I'll have to remember to leave a large tip." He turned to Pearl. "Hey, uh, how about while I'm eating, you explain more about your magical nature or whatever? I mean, I know you're important in protecting the city and everything, but I'm not entirely sure exactly what it is that you do."

"Yes, I suppose that would be an agreeable arrangement," said Pearl.

So as the mayor ate, Pearl gave an abridged version of how the Gems operated, covering topics that Steven had experienced first-hand over the past few years; she left out some of the more sensitive details like the fusion experiments and Malachite, but touched upon the Gem monsters and fusions like Sugilite, which had affected his city before and might possibly affect it in the future. Dewey, to his credit, tried his best to keep up.

"This is all stuff we already know," complained Amethyst. "Can't they talk about something interesting? I mean, even with Sugilite, it was just that we were 'out of control'. Come on, talk smack about us behind our backs!"

"Well, at least Pearl doesn't seem too bothered explaining all of it," said Steven. "In fact, she almost seems to be having a good time."

"Please, Steven. You know I could care less about whether or not Pearl has a good time or not."

Dewey popped the last of his fries into his mouth. "It's…rather impressive what you do," he said. "Uh, thanks for keeping us safe and tourist-friendly."

"You're welcome," Pearl said proudly.

The waitress came back to take away the mayor's dirty dishes. "Would either of you care for dessert?" she asked.

"Uh, sure, I'll have the apple pie a la mode," said Dewey. He turned to his companion. "I don't suppose you'll be wanting anything, will you?"

Pearl gave him an unimpressed look.

"I…I thought not." He gave a small, nervous laugh as the waitress departed. "Well, at least you're a cheap date."

"This isn't a date," Pearl said firmly.

"Of course not," said the mayor. "It's just an opportunity for us to get to know each other." He gave another nervous laugh. Back in the bushes, Amethyst gave a laugh that was decidedly not nervous.

"Actually," said Pearl, "so far, it seems that it's mostly you getting to know me and not the other way around."

"I guess it has," said Dewey. "Uh, like I said, I don't really know what I should say… Oh, I have a teenage son, Buck."

"Buck?" said Pearl, as if she were trying to place the name. "Does he wear sunglasses?"

"Huh? Uh, yes, he does."

"I met him once, I think. He was with his two friends."

"Did he mention me?"

"I only said I met him. We didn't really talk."

"Oh."

The waitress came back, a small plate with a piece of apple pie and a scoop of vanilla ice cream on it. She placed it in front of Dewey.

"Wow, _really_ prompt service," said the mayor. He picked up his spoon to begin eating.

"Wait," Pearl said. "May I?"

"Uh, sure," said Dewey. He handed the plate over.

Pearl moved her head close to the piece of pie to examine it. "I may find the digestive process disgusting," she said, "but I do enjoy the skill that goes into preparing certain foods. Pie is one of my favorites in that regard. There's the crust, prepared with the precise ratio of ingredients to prevent it from crumbling, contrasting with the filling, a slurry of fruit and fluids. The entire thing is baked at the correct temperature for the correct length to let the inside solidify so that it can then be divided without the filling spilling out; yet leave it in too long and it'll burn. The result is quite masterful when done properly."

"Er, right," said Dewey. "Can I have it back now? The ice cream's starting to melt."

"Oh, sorry," Pearl said, and slid the dessert back across the table.

This final course was eaten in silence, without any comments from either of them. (Amethyst, however, made comments like 'Why aren't they talking?' and 'Is this thing still working?')

After a few minutes, Dewey finished eating.

Pearl observed the few remains of the pie. "So, now what? Is our outing concluded?"

"Well, I guess it could be," said Dewey. "I was hoping we could walk along the beach for a while, but considering how dinner went…"

"No, that would be fine," said Pearl. "That way we can continue talking without one of us constantly preventing the use of their vocal cords by cramming food into their mouth. I'm referring to you, incidentally."

"Yes I—I got that. Now, let me just leave the money for my dinner, plus a tip, plus a campaign button… Okay, we can go now."

"Alright, time for round two," said Amethyst.

"I don't know; I'm starting to feel guilty about eavesdropping on them. And I don't think they're going to talk about me anyway."

"Come on, this stuff is gold! Later, I can casually mention stuff from tonight around Pearl later, and she'll be all like 'how did you know that?' and then she'll be like 'Amethyst! You spied on us even after the waiter thing!' and she'll get really mad and it'll be hilarious!"

She glanced at Dewey and Pearl, who had made their way down to the beach, where they were silently continuing their conversation.

"Just look at them, talking away… Wait, why can't we hear them?" Amethyst quickly swiveled her head back to the dining tables. "The communicator! I completely forgot!"

She sprang up and ran to the table where Pearl and Dewey had been, interrupting the waitress, who was in the middle of clearing it. "Sorry," said Amethyst as she lifted the table to grab the device stuck underneath, causing the napkin dispenser and condiments to slide off.

She hurried back to Steven, who was watching as Pearl and Dewey strolled down the beach, without any decent hiding places nearby.

"Aw man," she said. "We're never going to get this thing near her again without her noticing. And they keep moving around too."

"Maybe we should take that as a sign that we should go home?"

"Nah, I think I'll just stay here until they come back. See if we can catch the tail end of something juicy."

"Well, _you_ can stay if you want," said Steven indignantly, "but _I'm_ going back home." With that, he walked away.

He came back five seconds later.

"I forgot, you're my ride home."

"Yup."

"You're not going to take me yet, are you?"

"Nope."

Steven sighed and sat down beside her.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been nearly two hours since Pearl and Dewey had set off on their walk. Steven and Amethyst were passing the time by making finger sausages, but even that had gotten old. So they just sat in the bushes, getting more and more bored, before they finally spied the people they had been spying on. Pearl and Dewey were wandering back up the beach and towards the parking lot, eventually getting close enough to Steven and Amethyst that they could hear them without the use of Gem technology.

"And so that's why I decided to neither raise nor lower taxes," Dewey was saying.

"I never realized how much work goes into being the mayor of a small town!" Pearl gushed, her voice filled with an unexpected admiration. "All the paperwork, the red tape, the pandering to constituents…"

"Looks like we dodged a boredom bullet there," whispered Amethyst. "I mean, just sitting here was no fun either, but…"

"They could have talked about other things," said Steven.

"I still can't believe we were able to talk about it for two hours!" said Pearl.

"Never mind."

Dewey glanced at his van. "I should drive you back home," he said. "It's getting pretty late."

"Don't worry; since my body is an illusion, I don't need sleep." She paused. "Oh, but _you_ need sleep, don't you? Well, in that case, we should probably be done for the night."

"We can even talk some more during the drive back, if you'd like," said Dewey, opening the passenger side door for Pearl.

"I think I'd actually like that," said Pearl. "Maybe you could tell me a bit more about your son? Perhaps how you juggle the double responsibilities of raising a human child while holding a public office? I could probably relate to that in some regards."

"Sure thing!" said Dewey, heading over to the driver's side. "Well, Buck was a handful. He—" The rest of his sentence was rendered inaudible once he closed the car door and then rendered even more inaudible as he turned on the engine.

"Rats!" said Amethyst. "If I had been thinking, I could have hidden a communicator under the mayor's dashboard!"

"And it seemed like they might discuss me after Buck, too," said Steven.

Amethyst shapeshifted into an ostrich again. "Well, let's go after them," she said. "With any luck, we can make it home before Dewey departs and do something to embarrass both of them at the same time!"

Steven wasn't too thrilled with this plan, but seeing as he had no other means of transportation, he hopped on Amethyst's back. Since they knew their destination this time, they were able to take shortcuts and overtake the mayor's vehicle.

They reached the area in front of the temple a few minutes before Dewey and Pearl did. Amethyst changed back into humanoid form without bothering to wait for Steven to get down, causing him to fall to the ground. "Quick, let's hide!" she said, pulling Steven behind some rocks. "Then we can jump out and scare them!"

The van unsteadily drove across the sand before it eventually came to a stop in front of the temple. Pearl stepped out, wiping away small streams of tears from her eyes. Dewey exited as well, a sympathetic, apologetic look on his face.

"Is Pearl… crying?" whispered Amethyst. Steven shushed her.

"I'm sorry if I brought up a painful subject," said Dewey.

"No, it's fine," said Pearl. "You must think it's silly for me to still be hung up on it after ten years. But I'd known Rose for thousands of years before that, so a mere decade is just a drop in the bucket for me."

Dewey clasped Pearl's hand. "No, no… I don't think it's how long you've known someone, or how long they've been gone. It's how strong your memories of them are, how intense the emotions were. It doesn't matter if you've known them for a thousand years or just five, or whether they've been gone for ten years or twenty."

"What's he talking about?" whispered Amethyst. Steven shushed her.

Pearl smiled. "You know, before tonight—and during dinner, actually—I thought we would have nothing to talk about. I thought that we were from such different worlds that we would have nothing in common. But we do. We both know how it feels to lose someone close to us… someone that we loved more than anyone else." She gazed into Dewey's eyes, or at least she tried her best, as hers were still glazed with tears. "And so we actually have this deep, unknown connection. We can understand things about each other that others might not. We can understand the sorrow, the pain, the loneliness…"

She suddenly pulled Dewey in and kissed him. From their hiding place, Steven and Amethyst's eyes widened in shock.

The kiss lasted about three seconds before Dewey pushed her back. "No, don't…please don't do this."

"What?" said Pearl. More tears started to come. "But I thought you liked me. Isn't that why you asked me on this date?"

"Well, yes, I do like you. I find you very attractive. It's just…I don't want to be a replacement for Rose. And I don't want you to be a replacement for Melissa."

"Who's Melissa?" whispered Amethyst. Steven shushed her.

Dewey sighed. "I realize now that I'd put you on a pedestal. You were this lovely vision, unreachable, unobtainable. But now that I've spent time with you, I can see that we're simply not a very good match. So don't try to place me on a pedestal now. I'm the mayor; I have enough people looking up to me. I need somebody who I can respect as an equal. Someone who isn't just a replacement."

Pearl cast her gaze to the ground. "You're right," she said softly. Then, through the tears, she started laughing. "I can't believe I kissed you! I mean, I'm not even attracted to humans!"

"Seems like you're attracted to leader types, though," said Dewey.

Pearl considered this. "Huh. I guess I am. That makes sense, though."

"I'd be careful about that if I were you, though. Don't go chasing people you've put on pedestals, that's my advice" he said, as if he had been dispensing this wisdom, or had even known about it, prior to this night.

"I won't," said Pearl. "Though I doubt I'll even encounter anyone I'd want to date anytime soon."

"Yeah," said Dewey. "Well, I should be going now. I've got an online dating profile I need to dust off. Hopefully I'll get more hits this time." He headed back to his van.

"Bill?" Pearl called.

The mayor turned around.

"Thanks for asking me out tonight. I needed it."

"Well, thanks for agreeing to it," said Dewey. "I guess I need it too. In ways I didn't even realize."

With that, he climbed into his van and drove away. Pearl watched it leave, then head up into the beach house.

That just left Steven and Amethyst to emerge from their hiding place.

Steven looked at his friend. "We can't let Pearl know we were spying on her."

Amethyst shook her head. "Of course not. I may like to annoy Pearl, but I'm not _cruel_." She groaned. "Man, and I was going to have so much fun teasing her."

Steven put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure you'll be able to tease her in other ways just fine."

Amethyst smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Now let's head in and establish an alibi."

Inside, Pearl was already talking to Garnet. "Oh, there you are," said Pearl as they entered. "I was just telling Garnet how tonight _did_ make the mayor not want to date me anymore!"

"That's great!" said Amethyst. "I was just telling Steven how I tried crashing your date by posing as a waiter!"

"Oh yes, I almost forgot about that." She turned back to Garnet. "Yes, Amethyst showed up before Dewey's meal arrived, but she left after I identified her. I'm not quite sure what her plan was. Amethyst, what _was_ your plan?"

Amethyst shrugged. "Eh, I was just winging it."

"Well, it's been an eventful evening," said Pearl. "I'll be in my room, reflecting." With that, she went through the door that led to the inner sanctum.

"Looks like she's learnt a lesson about meeting new people to talk to," said Garnet. She turned to Steven and Amethyst. "And I hope _you_ learnt a lesson about spying on people."

"You knew about that?" Steven said.

"You two were missing. The communicators were missing. It was easy to figure out the rest. I'll need those communicators back, by the way."

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Amethyst, handing them over.

"And Steven," Garnet continued, "you should get to bed. You may be half-gem, but just like the mayor, you need sleep."

"Okay," said Steven. He paused. "Wait, how did you know that the mayor needs sleep?"

"I spied on Pearl's date with my future vision."

"And you have the gall to chew _us_ out for spying?" said Amethyst.

"Don't worry," said Garnet, using the temple door to go to her own room, "I learnt _my_ lesson about that as well."

"Well," said Steven cheerfully, "it looks like _all_ of us learnt one lesson or another!"

Amethyst glowered. "Go to bed, Steven."


End file.
